No Room at the Inn

Well technically there is room, but with the crew we have now I am presonally at capacity. At least until we have a schedule and some organization going on here.

After Thanksgiving we came off our short little hold and within hours were placed with another kiddo. He went home in just a few days and we were back to our 2 girls, the Pookster and a little bitty we will call Ladybug.
December kicked off with a call for another baby, a newborn that I needed to pick up from the hospital. Who can say no to that? Not me! See, I've never done that before. Ladybug at 7 weeks was the youngest we'd parented. So as a girl who has lived with infertility and let those dreams die a long time ago I was like a kid in a candy store. It was a dream come true.
We (ok, I, because my other half was on kid duty) picked TeenyBean up a couple days later when she was discharged. I'd never been so nervous. The name Teeny is not for no good reason - she is TINY! I was so afraid that she'd stop breathing or something in that carseat in the back of my SUV. It was the longest 20 minute drive of my life. But I did it, I got to be the one to bring a little one to the first home they'll know. It was awesome!

So if you are keeping count we now have 3 girls. Current ages are 4 weeks, 3 months, and 7 years. And let's not forget our 1 yr. old boy who is here more than not and rounds things out to make the total 4 kids and 2 parents. We are seriously out numbered and only 1 kid is walking. Makes outings really interesting and oh the comments I get. Some would leave you on the floor in laughter.

My girl is in heaven! She now has TWO life size dolls to dress up and play with. They are HER babies. My guy thinks they are fun too. He tries to climb in the swing with them or under the play gym and bat toys at their heads. Good times! The husband is learning that it's not so scary to hold a 5 lb. baby and no he won't break her. And now that there is no... gasp, umbilical cord... he will even help change all the babies diapers.
Me, I am holding up. Sleep deprivation has reached a whole new level. I have 2 that sometimes sleep through the night, but not 1 does it consistantly. There are however no bags under my eyes yet, this I know for sure - a random woman at an appointment checked and told me so. (rolling my bagless eyes) I wash about 17 bottles a day and change double that amount of diapers. It now takes me 4 trips to load the car. And 2 strollers or some other odd configuration of apparatus to go anywhere. But I'm doing it. Ain't nothing gonna break my stride! Nobody gonna slow me down, oh no! I got to keep on moving... come on you know you wanna sing with me. ;)

So there you have it. The reason why I've so terribly neglected my blog. The reason for more grey hairs on the top of my head and no time to have them colored. And unless I lose all reason and decide I can take on another or two, this house is full. My baby tank is all filled up! Let's be serious here it's overflowing!

Until my next "free" moment... (that I don't want to spend in a sleep coma)

Lifetime Movie or My Life

Lately I've found it hard to look at my life and not wonder... how? why? when? Is this really my life. Well it is. All the drama filled craziness that the kids who join my home have or are experiencing in their family somehow becomes part of what I live.
If only I could share the stories and experiences that I witness on an ongoing basis. Well, some of it would make you shudder. It sure does me! But, thankfully within all of that crazy there is hope.
Jeremiah 29:11 to paraphrase says, that the Lord already has plans for us. Ones not of harm, but of hope and a future. I cling to this verse and pray that the introduction to the Lord that kids recieve in our home will stick with them and they might experience that bright future. If not here on earth, then in eternity with Christ.

Yes, things here have been interesting to say the least these past few weeks. We said goodbye to the brothers. Hello to Diva Baby. And then had some temporary visitors share a few days with us. Our home has been full and we feel blessed by each one.

We had the opportunity to celebrate Thanksgiving with our families and it was a great time. I think we've found a new Black Friday tradition. I might have to give up my shopping day for this one, but it's worth it.
Now we are gearing up for Christmas and with the late start I'm getting this year I am going to be doing most of my shopping online. Thank God for Fed Ex and the internet!

I hope that each of you have an amazing holiday season. Hug your families tight and soak in each moment. I know that is what I plan to do this year!

Disruption

I've been thinking alot about this word lately. In the adoption and foster care world this word has significant meaning and serious ramifications.

I found this definition of disruption:

1. To throw into confusion or disorder
2. To interrupt or impede the progress, movement, or procedure of...
3. To break or burst; rupture.

The first definition is what I have been dealing with lately. The day after Mystery Boy left we were joined by 2 brothers. Since that moment our home has been thrown into a state of confusion and disorder. Not in the physical sense, although there has been some of that, but we are in emotional disorder. We are dealing with one child who is confused and unable to understand his situation and is extremely angry as a result. That anger then translates to those arround and we have complete chaos.
The second definition is the cause of the disorder. There have been too many instances when the interruption and forward movement of this child's development and forming attachments has been impeded.
The third, well that is what we are experiencing now. We had to make the decision to break the relationship and have the kids moved to another home where their needs could be better met. In some ways I feel like I have failed them. But had we not made this decision we would have failed the child we have committed to for life. Her needs had to be our number one priority. Because of the experiences that have shaped her, she isn't yet able to handle the particular issues we are dealing with.
So yet again, a child who is craving love and stability on one hand and fighting it with every ounce of their being on the other, because it is so foreign to them, will find themselves in another new home with new people to try to reach his heart and heal the brokenness.

I've really struggled with this decision, because we knew that making it would be adding to the damage in a child's life. I'm sure some people will think we are just horrible, and believe me when I say that we feel horrible. But we do have peace that this is the right thing for Avery. And we will continue to pray that the right home will be found and this will also be the right thing for these boys as well.
This is something we never fathomed that we would do as foster parents. We are open to nearly all behaviors and have experienced many of them in the past. I think for awhile we are going to be very cautious about the children we accept. There needs to be some healing time for Avery, since she was very affected by what we are dealing with right now.

For today we are going to try and focus on the positive and enjoy any good moments that remain with these 2 little boys.

But disruption... disruption hurts, disruption scars, disruption I hope will heal!

Finding My Feet

I'm feeling a little bit like a fish out of water. I'm really missing having a baby in the house. We currently only have our Super Diva and the mystery boy from a couple weeks ago. Both of whom are fairly capable kids and don't need me for much. It is strange and I am struggling.
We saw Baby C just over a week ago. It was so good to just cuddle him and let him know we are still here and love him to pieces. It was also god to see him forming stronger bonds with his mom. Overall it gave me the opportunity to breathe and not be so constantly worried about him. Since seeing him, I've missed him more and more each day. I honestly don't know if I'd be strong enough to see him today. Maybe tomorrow, but today, my heart just feels broken.

Mystery boy will likely be leaving tomorrow. Although we've had another call and are technically waiting on another placement, we just aren't sure they are coming for reasons I can't really share. We've been on hold for almost 2 weeks and tomorrow when we fid out mystery boy's status we will be opening up for placements again. I am ready, but I feel the need to be a little more cautious about who I say yes too. To say it has been a challenge would be an understatement. Some personalities just don't mix and I find it hard to communicate with this little guy.

I'm pretty sure we will get a call quickly, but I am looking forward to the possibility of a few days with just me and my girl. Yeah the husband too... but he will be working, so you know what I mean.
But oh wait, it might just be a day, because we are doing respite for a friend. So yeah, my life is kinda crazy. But would I really change it? Nope, not on your life!

The Unexpected

So last week, our sweet little Baby C left us. Tuesday was an incredibly difficult day. I think given the circumstances we all weathered the storm with strength and even a little grace. Yes, we did have our fall apart at the seams moments (and still do at times), but we sucked it up and did what we had to do. It helps that we've had a couple little updates and he seems to be doing well.

We decided to take a little time for ourselves. Avery and I spent the week doing some fun things with friends. A trip to the museum, Chick-fil-a play place and lunch, and even the zoo. Activity kept our minds on brighter things. Like celebrating 6 years of being a family!!

On Saturday we planned to go overnight to an indoor waterpark, but when we woke up no one but me wanted to go. Wah, wah, wah! Oh well, Plan B was implemented and we took off to a small artists town for some shopping and fall fun.
At the end of the day we decided to complete our trip with a carriage ride through town. When it was over Super Diva refused to feed the horse and insisted Mommy should do it... um, whoops. I forgot that I am allergic to horses. Needless to say the more than hour drive home was filled with sneezing, itchy eyes, and hives covering my entire face. Not my finest moment.
We got home and I attempted to drown myself in Benadryl. Once things calmed down I thought I could relax, so in went a movie and... RING, RING.

Who would be calling at 10 p.m. on a Saturday night, but the county, trying to place not 1, but 2 seperate kids. What was I thinking? I said yes to both. So back up to get dressed, out to the car, to load up carseats, and away I went. During the drive I talked Ryan through going through the clothes bins and putting sheets on a crib. That was an interesting phone conversation.
I arrived home a little after 11 with 2 new little people. One was sound asleep and I just put her straight to bed. The other, well he seems to be nocturnal and doesn't like ot sleep at night. I finally convinced him to lay his head on the pillow and let him fall asleep with lights and TV and all the other no,no's in the house. I made it to bed at 1:30 in the morning. He woke hourly to yell for me, but doesn't call me by my name, rather "missy".

Both kids aren't likely to be around long. In fact girly went home after 40 hours. But this is the life of emergency calls. Adrenaline rush and sleep deprivation!

So much for a little break and family time. I hope 1 day was enough!

And The Beat Goes On

This is a post that I've been struggling over for the last couple days. Honestly I could barely say the words, so I certainly didn't want to see them glaring back at me in 14 inch font.

You see, the hard part of fostering, the part that everyone questions and swears they could never do is what I am facing right now. It's the letting go. Not after a few days, which I did yesterday by the way, but after months and months of loving a child and pouring your everything into them.
Tonight will be the first night in over 7 months that little man will not be sleeping under the same roof as me. I won't need to go check on him and make sure he's breathing. The truth is I'll probably still wake up to do these things, but I won't need to. Today he gets his first real glimpse of what will soon be his new life. And I will try to prepare myself for what will once again be a close to empty house, but not too much because it can change in an instant with one phone call.

Next week, unless the judge does not support the recommendation of DCS and others (yeah, right!) I will say goodbye to my sweet little boy whose tears I've wiped, boo boo's I've kissed, and who knows me as mom for over 7 of his 10 months of life. I will no longer be the "mama" that answers when he calls. There really isn't a good way to prepare for that, but I have to try.

So while a piece of my heart will be ripped out and go with him, I have to press on. Because like it or not, it's happening. It's the choice I made when I answered the call to open my home and my heart to these kids. Kids who may only need me for a season will have my heart forever.
Yes, it's hard, it hurts and there are days, like today when I wonder if it's worth it. But one look into the face of these sweet babies (and big kids too) and all doubt washes away.

So we move on, with hearts a little more fragile than before. Still beating, still open and waiting to love the next little one that looks into your heart with all the fear and confusion that consumes their face. And together we will work to heal the broken pieces.

3 + 3 = 0

No, this is not my home educator skills falling apart at the seams. This is the equation of my last few weeks.
You see in 3 weeks we've had 3 calls for possible placements, that have resulted in ZERO children.
Week 1 - call for newborn. An hour later said newborn was placed with family that came forward. I am totally cool with that. Would have loved to find out in that hour and not the next day after I bought baby clothes and such, but hey, such is the life of a foster parent.
Week 2 - call for 2 possible kiddos. Set to arrive late the following week. Waiting, waiting, and more waiting. That following week... court continued. More waiting.
Week 3 - call for 6 month old. Said yes right away and started packing diaper bag while waiting on the case worker to call back. But wait we are going out of town in an hour... no problem one of us will stay home. Case worker tried, but supervisor said to place elsewhere and not inconvenience us. Ok, I can live with that, but seriously would have jumped through hoops for a kiddo that needed some lovin'.
Week 4 - Back to the kids from week 2 and that continued court hearing. Heard absolutely nothing. Guess they don't need us.

So this is just a picture of the whirlwind that we live every day. Being ready at a moments notice. Moving beds, rearranging rooms, clothing on hand for any kid in every size. And most of all waiting. I really don't like waiting. I'm a doer. When I see a problem, and believe me I hear and see it on the news every day, I want to jump in up to my elbows and get dirty.

Right now I still have Baby Bubba, as Ryan so affectionately calls him, here to keep my focus. And believe me there is plenty there to keep me on my toes.

Avery of course is full tilt into new school year chaos mode. That is enough to send me to a padded room.

Things are leveling out though and I think we are ready for more chaos in our world. We just aren't quite sure what to do without it.

The Highs and Lows

Since Ryan and I started trying to build our family all too long ago it has been a series of highs and lows. It seems this phase of life is no exception. Foster care seems to be the pinnacle of the emotional rollercoaster.
In the last few months we've had the possible arrival of 2 children that didn't come. We've said goodbye to a little one whom we had in our home for over 5 months. And now we have yet another possibility of 2 more children's arrival in the coming week.
It's a lot to process. As an adult I often get caught up in the emotion. For my child, well it can be rough. Really rough.
This past week one of our former foster kiddos celebrated a birthday. She was at the forefront of our minds and she along with her siblings have been the topic of our conversations a lot this week. It's hard to miss them. It's hard to know your place once they move on. To stay involved and yet not overstep. To let them heal with their new family, but to let them know they still hold a place in your heart. Tricky stuff.
So this week we wait, we prepare, we pray, and we hope for what might be. In the next breath we mourn the loss, we grieve for the hurt and pain that brings children to our home, and we pray that we will be equipped to handle it all.

2nd Grade is F-U-N

A lot has happened over the last couple weeks. J went home to his mom. C's case has been all over the map and back again (don't ask what's going on cuz even I don't have a clue how this one will end), we got a call for a newborn who didn't end up coming and in the midst of it all... my girl became an official 2nd grader.

We always start official school the Tuesday after Labor Day, but yesterday as I was finalizing some lesson plans Miss A asked if she could "please, please start school now". So being the flexible home educator that I am (note intended sarcasm by totally rigid over-planner) how could I not answer the request.
So yes, today we began our new school year. I have made a promise to myself to make this year more engaging and creative. This does not come naturally to me in an educational setting or at least not one where I am responsible to see that she is up to snuff with her peers and meeting required milestones. Ahh the pressure! Albeit self induced pressure. But yes, I have devised a plan... and it's FUN! She didn't complain one single second of school today. In fast she completed more subjects than I had on schedule and even requested to take her Russian lesson in the car. Could it be that I have found the key? Or maybe I'm kidding myself and this is just first day excitement. Either way I am going to bask in the glory of one fabulous day and milk it for everything I can.
We are doing some fun geography this year. Every 2 weeks we are immersing ourselves in a different country. From cuisine, historical leaders and fashion trends to map skills and govornmental structure. I'm so excited.
Every Monday we are kicking off the week with a science experiment and she's learning about the body and will have to draw a picture of herself with properly placed internal organs by the end of the year.
Phonics, Math, Handwriting and Spelling still not that fun. But I've finally found a plan to assist her creative writing skills and that excites me. It terrifies her, but I'm excited and that's what really matters, right??
Who'da thunk it? I'd actually enjoy homeschooling. But I really think this year might be a winner!

MIA No More

It's been ages since I've blogged. The summer seems to always bring such business that I can rarely keep up. This year it was no exception, but for far less exciting reasons. Yes, we had our Disney vacation, but following that our little foster kids visits began increasing and took up most of our time.
One of our little guys is home now. I'm so happy for him and his mom. The other will likely not be far behind. And yes, we are waiting to see who will next enter our home and hearts.

Not much is new in our little corner of the Midwest. Avery will be entering 2nd grade this fall. I'm still homeschooling her, so that will keep me busy. This year she is more excited about school and I am determined to be more creative in my teaching style to keep her excited. Lots of fun things planned already, so stay tuned!
Ryan is still working like it's his job, oh wait... it is. And missing his friends back in Ohio.

Me, well there isn't much to say. I am knee deep in diapers, drool and drama with the kiddos. But if you know me I wouldn't have it any other way.

I guess the best way to update you on some of our summer fun is with pictures, so here goes...

Our Disney Vacation

I promise I will post pictures, but right now I've misplaced the USB cord for my camera. So they will have to wait until I am organized again.

I guess if I had to describe our vacation in two words they would be HOT and PACKED!

We arrived in Jacksonville on Friday and hit the beach with a friend and her son. It was really good to kick off our vacation with something so relaxing. Avery was her typical beach loving self and hit the waves. She tried boogie boarding for the first time and is hooked. (we're already planning our next beach vacation)
After our beach outing we got back on the road headed to Mickey Land!

Saturday morning was our girls morning. We headed straight for Bippety Boppity Bourique at Downtown Disney. Avery close the MOST outlandish hairstyle, the biggest face jewel, and the brightest make-up that they had. She looked adorable of course, but I was seeing a little Russian style coming through if some of you know what I mean. ;)
After our girly time we took off with the group to Hollywood Studios. We spent a good bit of time there. I would say the favorites were the Toy Story ride and Honey I Shrunk the Kids. I made the mistake of taking Avery on the Tower of Terror. She begged, I caved and boy do I regret it. She did ok on the ride, but afterward, oh my! Hysterics for probably 15 minutes or more. Poor thing!

Sunday we headed back to Downtown Disney for some shopping and time at the splash pad. It was so hot the kids couldn't walk from the water to us (a whole 10 steps) because their feet would have burned and blistered. Big Boy made the mistake and tried and wouldn't walk the rest of the day. We left there and went to the resort pool for a nice swim. It seems Avery needs a little brush up on her swimming. She doesn't have the stamina she had at the end of last summer. The boys both loved the water.

Monday was the BIG DAY. Breakfast with the charachters at Ohana. Followed by Magic Kingdom. The breakfast was so much fun. Talk about excitement! The grin on my girl was so worth it. Big boy was scared to death, but he made it through.
When we got to Magic Kingdom the afternoon parade was just starting. I honestly can't think of a better way to start off our visit. We played in Tomorrow Land and FantasyLand before going home for the afternoon.
Ryan took Avery back in the evening for the parade and fireworks while I stayed back and put 2 very exhausted boys to bed.

Tuesday we took it a bit easy. The go, go, go was catching up with us. But we couldn't get away without visiting one of the parks. In the afternoon we headed to Epcot, which is one of my favorite parks. It was a good spot to meet charachters and Avery got autographs from every one we found. She saw a kid walking around that was dressed a bit like the Mad Hatter and she was sure it was the real one, and wanted his autograph too, then was mad that he was tricking people. lol

Wednesday was Animal Kingdom time. It was my first time there and it was AMAZING! All of the kids found things they liked there. We loved every second of it. The boys were fascinated by the animals on the safari ride and the petting area. Avery found more charachters and got to take her own pictures - 7 yr. old heaven!

Thursday we headed back to Magic Kingdom. We got to meet the princesses, ride more rides. Avery "drove" her first car = priceless! And we barely survived the scorching temps. Shade was definately our best friend that day.

On Friday we packed up and endured a very LONG road trip back home.

We made lots of memories. Experienced a lot of firsts. and somehow we made it through with our sanity in tact.

Summer, Summer, Summer Time!

I am very much in need of a vacation! and in less than 3 weeks... I am getting one. Disney, here we come!
I've been shopping, planning, packing and trying to organize every little detail. When we initially decide to go to Disney we were a family of 3. Now we are 5 (provided the boys both get permission to travel) and with 2 babies it is going to be a little more involved. Still, I can't wait!

As for the boys... they are great! Little Man had a court hearing and will have another before our trip. It has me a little nervous, just because things with his case have been so odd, but I trust that the right thing will happen. Big Boy will have court in July. I think his will go well and provided things continue like they are, he will likely go home then or soon after. But with foster care anything can happen, so I am throwing away any expectations.

In 14 days my baby will be SEVEN. I am trying to plan something special for her, but since we are leaving 5 days later for vacation it will have to be easy and more low key. It will also be the first time she won't celebrate in Ohio with our family. That is a little sad.

Counting the Days

In less than 2 months we will be heading to Disney! I can't wait. There is a possibility that I am more excited than Avery at this point. When we initially planned this vacation it seemed like the perfect time. Avery was old enough to ride the big rides. We wouldn't be emcumbered with a stroller or the gear that goes along with little ones. It felt like a relaxing trip was in store. Or at least as relaxing as Disney can be. Our reality is now far from the image I carried in my head. It looks like we will have 2 extra little guests joining us. J and C will likely still be with us and since we don't do respite for vacations, they will come too. I am making lists of things we need. Asking myself do we take the double stroller or 2 singles. Should I take pack-n-plays or rent a crib from the resort. Do I have something that will keep bottles cold at the parks. And the list goes on. My assumption is that if I prepare in advance it will be flawless. (I know I know... feed my delusion!) So to update on the boys... things are really good. Really busy, but good. J is walking now. It's lots of fun seeing him learn new things. C is growing like a weed! It seems like every time I turn around he is outgrowing clothes. We still don't know how things will turn out for either of them, but feel hopeful that both cases are headed in the right direction for each of them. Avery is going to be 7 soon. I am starting to think party plans. We leave for vacation just 5 days after her birthday, so we'll have a special celebration at our charachter breakfast. She will be very surprised. I think that we're going to invite a couple friends for mani-pedi's at the local kids salon. The other big news is that she learned to ride a 2 wheel bike. So proud!!!! I'm telling you I just welled up with tears.

Growing Pains

Yes, that's right we have another little one in the house. It brings the male/female ratio to 3 to 2 and we girls are out numbered for the first time.

Last week when I got the call it was after we had spent the weekend trying to decide if we wanted to fill our last space. We had left things on the fence. As it tends to go, when I waver God makes the decision for me and this was no exception. I didn't think twice before saying yes, and rushing to re-arrange the carseats and get on our way.

I knew he was a toddler and aside from some injuries a healthy guy. What I didn't know was he couldn't walk and weighs a ton. It made me do a double take to think of the logistics, but by that point he was attached at the hip and we were all in.
It is a very different situation than what we are used to, so there will be a learning curve with his case. But really isn't there with every case?

After 3 days I felt like we had a pretty good routine going. After over a week now, I feel like he is settling in.

Little Man has been so easy and patient with the changes. Avery has loved having someone who chases her around the house and laughs at everything she does. I am enjoying the occasional cuddles that I am granted.

We are once again finding a new normal.

New Discoveries

Over the last week and a half our lives have been transformed into a new form of normal. We got our new little guy which was a relatively easy adjustment, and then we had several days of houseguests. I was amazed at how smooth it all went.
To think back at how tightly wound I was when our 3 came. And to be honest, even when we brought Avery home. I spent a much longer period of time trying to just find a manageable routine and settle in. With this little one I can see how much I have grown and changed. I'm not fighting for control of every little thing. We are just living and enjoying the moment. Ah, could that be contentment? The unattainable rung that I never could seem to quite grasp. I think I get it now, finally. (um, I'm sure I will lose sight of it, but not for good ever again) Yes, I spent a few days trying to get organized and stay a step ahead, but I wasn't stressed. I knew it was all going to be ok.
The other thing that I noticed is how much stronger I am emotionally. Little Man is our first newborn-ish baby. I thought for sure I'd be a wreck trying to hold on to him and be maybe resentful of his parents. When we took our classes this time I felt more confident, but still I wasn't sure I could trust that. He had his first visit, and now his second visit and while I adore him to pieces I just know that I want his parent to get it together and get him back. I can see with certainty that where we fall short, the Lord fills the gap. He must be standing there for me now.
So for those of you who wonder "will he stay? will he go?" the answer is we don't know. He'll be here for at least a little while, but the plan is, the hope is that he will get the chance to go home and be loved by the mommy who brought him into this world. Until that happens we will just enjoy this comfortable new normal.

He's Here

We got a call last week that we might be getting a placement. The next day we got a call confirming that we indeed were and could I come get him. So right now as I type I can hear the sweetest little squeaky sleeping baby noises. I can't share much about our little guy who we'll call Bubs, but he's precious. Just a teeny little thing.
We are settling in well. He has great smiles and coos. He'll giggle for Avery. And finally we have a good sleeper in this house. Can I get an AMEN!?!?!
He'll probably be here for a while, but as it is with foster care that could change tomorrow.

All About the Timing

Oiy! For weeks we have been wondering what on earth was going on with our file. Like I've said before you learn quickly the differences in working with government agencies and private agencies. I still think we've been pretty lucky with our caseworker, but I'm going to have to readjust my expectations a little. But... here we are, our license is COMPLETE! All systems go. We can now receive placements.

Which brings me to the timing. I got the email this evening, a little before 8 p.m. But you see at around 5 p.m. the predicted ice storm started. Wouldn't it just be my "luck" that we'll get a call with inches of ice outside and possible loss of power tomorrow. I am just laughing at the possibility.

I spent the day preparing for the storm: bottling water, baking, getting fire wood, finding the candles, charging all of our electronics, doing laundry, wash all dishes, set out extra blankets, and making sure we had batteries where we needed them. I never was a Girl Scout, but I feel like I did them proud today. Now to see if we'll be weathering the storm on our own, or with some little people company.

Planning, Pondering and Perplexed

I am officialy another year older. Not really a big deal for me. I've never minded getting older, and that didn't change with this birthday either. I was informed though, by Avery, that my birthday is boring! She couldn't understand why I didn't have a party with friends, or some of the other things that she, at 6, enjoys. Could it be that it's because I'm the one that makes those things happen for her and I am not into planning my own party. Or maybe because I am a grown up and we don't wear Hello Kitty party hats (ok, if you do I'm cool with it). So an uneventful birthday was had, and that is fine by me.

I do wish that we were experiencing such uneventfulness on the foster care front. It has been nearly a month since we signed off on our homestudy. A couple weeks ago we learned of a setback, but were assured it was being handled. Still we sit an nothing has happened. I knew dealing with the county would be more hectic than a private agency, but I didn't expect so many delays on this side of licensing. I'm frustrated, but rying to trust God's timing and that He will use these delays for good. It would be nice to know where we stand right now though... signed perplexed in Indiana

We are planning a trip to Disney this year. I think it is the perfect time for us to go. Avery is at the age where she can finally ride most, if not all the rides. She has finally overcome her fear of charachters dressed up - huge hurdle! And she is at a stage where it'll really be magical for her. I have to say, I am really overwhelmed with all the details. I am used to vacations that are effortless. This is anyting but. Who knew there were so many details to Disney? Not me. for as much as I like to be prepared and organized, this is almost overkill. But I vow to conquer the confusion and make this a fabulous trip for our family. The trickiest part may be whether or not we have a foster child and if they are able to travel with us. Ahh, my head hurts from the details!

Recap in Pictures

We kicked off age 6 by losing a tooth, then another, and another. What's with all this?

A Fabulous Field Trip - Avery's First Train Ride and "Picking" a Pumpkin

Then a little Fall fun at ZooBoo!

A Little Fun in the Leaves

The First Snow!

Our Impromptu Christmas Before Going to Ohio

This Girl LOVES The Grinch!

Waiting for a Placement

It's official, we're done with the licensing process! Our completed homestudy was turned in last week. I am excited to see what is coming our way in the new year. We are waiting for that call, and secretly (ok, maybe not so secretly) hoping for a newborn. I just know that it would be the best fit for us right now. And it doesn't hurt that it is something that I have never got to experience, so that would be an added bonus for me. It makes me sad though to think that people neglect and hurt their kids. I don't like that in order for us to grow our family our child has to endure loss and suffering. Not ideal. Still I know God can bring beauty from ashes and will work through our journey.

In preparation for adding kids to our home I have been doing some nesting of sorts. I had a baking stint during the holidays. My waistline begged me to let that go, so I started Craftmania. I made lots of Christmas gifts and am starting a couple projects for the house. I've been doing things like polish the furniture and iron my curtains, again. Yes, I am trying to keep busy and occupy my mind.
The other thing I am working on is more practical. With our homeschool schedule I normally walk Avery through her work. Now that she is reading more I decided it was time to let her try some independant study. I was nervous, because before Christmas break she was still throwing her books in frustration. Imagine my surprise when she embraced the idea and now just needs me to explain new concepts and check her work! I hear a hallelujah chorus ringing! Now to keep up the momentum.

Speaking of Avery, I know I haven't added pictures in awhile. I promise to overwhelm you with cuteness in my next post. I just need to upload all the fall and winter pictures. So until then... unless I get a call for a placement that is.