September in My Sights

July is coming to a close and I find myself wishing we could just skip August altogether. Never thought I'd wish for that being the summer loving type. But this summer hasn't quite met my expectations. There have been some great moments, but mainly I have too many babies to go to the pool without help, it's been as hot as Hades, and aside from a 5 minute downpour last week there hasn't been a speck of rain.
So in September we have great things to look forward to. First, our little guy "I" who has been here the last couple months will be gone. I know that shouldn't be something to look forward to, but he is a diffucult boy and limits what we can do, because of his reactions.
Second is VACATION!! I seriously can't wait! This is the family vacation I've been waiting for since we had kids. We are heading to the Outer Banks in NC. We got this fabulous house just off the beach and we plan to have a lot of fun just relaxing, splashing in the waves, and even squeezing in a date night or 2!
And then after we get back... school starts. I'm actually excited about it. We are going a totally new route with homeschooling and I think it will be exactly what Avery needs to get excited about learning. So here's to not burning out and loving school even after October! (fingers crossed)

As for my babies. Well, we are still waiting. There will be a lot of court appointments over the next month or two. It is going to make our forever picture a lot clearer. Some things are still up in the air. With A it's pretty certain she will be a Stevens by 2013. We just really are going through the motions, and praying no one comes forward who would trump our adoption of her. And C, well that is still a big question mark that we are hoping will be answered sooner than later.

We are taking a little break after I leaves. Our hope is to focus on the 3 kids we have now and come down from the whirlwind of the revolving door of kids. We will get back to fostering once we are home from vacation and have our first week of school wrapped up. And I'm sure by then I will be more than excited to see who needs us next!

Beyond the Highlights

Ok, so now that I got the Clif Note version out of the way and you all know how intense the last few months have been I can dive into the good stuff.
Let me tell you, aside from the luggage that comes along with fostering, life is GOOD! I feel like Im in this euphoric place of the bliss I've been chasing for so many years. We don't live in forever land right now, we haven't reached that point, but for today I'm the mommy that they look to and the one they chase from room to room for just one little hug onto my legs. THIS is the life! I look into each one of their faces and my heart swells like the Grinch after he saves Christmas.
So I'm going to take a few minutes and brag on my kids.
I'll start with Avery. On June 4th she turned EIGHT! I just really don't know how she grew up, but she keeps doing it. She is the best big sister. She's incredibly helpful and compassionate. We still have our moments of meltdown, but even those are more manageable and she is using her toolbox to make better choices. She is a dream! Beautiful, smart, creative, artistic, and I am so proud of the person she is becoming.
Then there is C - from the day he entered our home 15 months ago he was just the most laid back and sweet little baby. Although he is testing the waters of toddler terror and dare devil, he is still that sweet and laid back boy. Not so much baby anymore. His smile lights a room and he loves to cuddle! There isn't much that he wont try, but he is quick to listen when I say stop. That is a breath of fresh air! He is looking more like a little boy and less like a baby all the time. He's running and climbing, dancing, and talking up a storm. He adores the babies and is in awe of Avery. He loves going to the zoo and playing in the pool. C is such a blessing. I am grateful that he is in my life!
And baby A - PURE JOY! She is just the happiest little girl around. Her smile is a ear to ear silly girl, giggly grin. I love it! She has some definite limitations, but she is so determined and focused that she amazes me every day. I've seen her overcome huge obstacles and work really hard with that sweet grin on her face the whole time. She is crawling and starting to babble. She says mama, dada, hi, and signs yes. She loves yogurt and gargling her bottles. She has 4 teeth now and her hair is really coming in. There is a little chub on her legs. And she claps her hands for everything from diaper changes to getting a bottle. Did I mention she is pure joy! I love her to the moon!
We also have little I - he is one to keeps me on my toes. Right now he can't do much and he gets frustrated with that. He would love nothing more than to keep up with the other babies. I'm sure it won't be long before he is. Although I think he will be going home around the time that happens. He is smiley and playful. And a total TANK! Honestly, I'm working my muscles with that kiddo.

So that is my brag! I adore my kids. I love my life! And couldn't be happier that it is summer and we get to spend time doing some fun stuff and just hanging out together!

One Big Update... The Highlight Reel

OK, so lots has happened since I posted last. So hang onto your laptops, this will be a whirlwind of an update.

First, we moved into our new house at the end of April. We are loving the new space. Of course with the revolving door of kids we've had lately I'm already dreaming of our dream house we are wanting to build. Rooms, rooms, rooms! Never enough around here!

So about all of those kids. We have been really busy around here. The weekend after we moved in we had a newborn who left after 3 days. A few days later we did respite for another foster family. The day she left we got a call for twin girls that stayed for a couple weeks. When the twins went home we got our little "I" who will probably be here through the summer. He is a 9 month old sumo baby. And totally adorable. On Memorial Day we got another newborn who was here only overnight. Then 2 brothers came for almost a week.

In all of that time C has some pretty serious stuff happen in his case. At one point it looked like he might be moved to another home, but thankfully the judge saw how tough that would be for him and he stayed. Right now things are really up in the air and we aren't sure what direction his case will take.
Then there is baby A. Her case has also taken a huge turn. It seems like her mother is wanting to sign consent to adopt. Im trying to not get my hopes up. And I feel really bad for her mom who feels like she can't  give A what she needs. Like everything else in foster care we just have to see where this road takes us.

Moving On and Moving Out

This week I had to say goodbye to the first and so far only baby I've ever got to bring home from the hospital. It was emotional to say the least. I know she is in a great place and I know she will be loved beyond measure, but why not me? Yes it was our choice to not be her forever family, but really it was God's choice. I keep wondering why we've been at this foster care thing, just hoping to adopt, yet no one "sticks". And here the one kid who was a guaranteed as guaranteed can be with foster care wasn't "the one". God what do you have planned? I'd love to know. I honestly know it's going to be perfect and exactly what I need, but I'm beginning to tap my foot with impatience. Lord, help me wait on You!!

I guess in the great scheme of things it's good that she moved when she did. We've decided our little rental is too small for our ever fluctuating brood, and we've found a new place. Albeit another temporary place... (until we BUILD!! or find house perfection) So now I am starting to pack and plan with only 3 kids in tow. Not too bad. Last time around I had 4 and a MIA hubby who had already come to the land of the cornfields for work.
New house means shopping and decorating, so that makes me happy. I might be posting lots of pictures soon for house ideas. So be prepared!

Some Things I'll Never Understand

This past month has been just plain unpredictable and chaotic. We've had some great moments, but I have to say seeing January pass by leaves me relieved and ready for a new day!

Ryan and I both had birthdays and for the first time in a long time we got a night out with NO KIDS! It was nice, strange, but nice! I think we need to do that more.

My big girl had a hard time this month. Living away from family really takes a toll on her. Christmas and spending a few days with family brought up all those sad/mad feelings and it took a few weeks to get her in check. I so wish I could make things better for her on many levels, but she has to want to let go of her anger and to be honest, she just doesn't want to. Breaks my mommy heart!

We still have our 3 little people. Same ones... can you believe it? Lots of changes happening there. we've had visits with bios, no visits, back to visits, 1 with visits - 2 without, and now we are close to no visits. It will definately lighten my load, but I find myself getting frustrated at the lack of effort some parents are making to see or regain custody of their child. I will NEVER understand not choosing to jump through whatever hoop is put before me or not taking every opportunity to spend even a second holding my child. I try my best to empathize. They are coming from a very different place - one that seems hopeless. And sometimes so caught up in other things that they don't even see the skewed priorities, so I don't judge, but I also can't truly understand.
Less visits has lightened the load and that is a good thing, because we are now adding 3 therapy appointments to the week. OT and PT are on the roster for some of our little bits. And we some important doctors appointments coming up that I'd appreciate prayers for.
We are also praying about what happens if these kids don't get to go back to their parents. Lots to consider and we really are needing things to move in just the right way. Sorry for the cryptic-ness, but some things you know I just can't share.

Last weekend we had a nice weekend away - minus 2 babies who had a great time with friends. We joined another family and had some fun at the Great Wolf Lodge. It's been awhile since we'd been there. This time Pooka Girlie was able to ride anything she wanted. She had a blast! So did the rest of us, even though Ryan says he's old now and couldn't ride the slides because of his back. He got toddler duty!

The big thing on our horizon is our house hunt. With 4 kids (and possibly getting ready to open up for another... shhh!) we are quickly running out of space. I swear I feel like I am drowning in laundry and I do it EVERY day. We need space to spread out and not trip over baby gear and toddler toys. Not to mention homeschooling materials and Littlest Pet Shop. My organizational freak side want to purge it all or buy stock in Rubbermaid and box it all up, but it's all "needed" stuff, so I fight the urge and say let's MOVE!