Ahhh Respite...

I am relishing in the fact that tomorrow our 3 little people will be off to respite for 5 days and 4 nights.
Yes, I love them, but good golly I need a break. So I am dreaming of sleeping in, relaxing and having some alone time with my girl. Sounds like heaven on earth to me.

I am slightly worried about how they will react, and the potential backlash when I pick them up on Saturday, but I'll deal... for a few days of peace and cleanliness, I will deal.

And in addition to the relaxation we are remodeling our bathroom and painting the living room. Gotta repair some of the damage they dole out every day.

On another note, court was today. I don't know yet how it went, but I'm sure it was fine and I'll hear soon.

Where Are We Now

Limbo - it's a place I feel like we've been for the past 3 years. First waiting to adopt from Russia again, then starting and stopping our 2nd Russian adoption, then maybe domestic and starting the homestudy only to decide to foster, and a year of fostering, one loss... and more limbo.

Well, this is not a place I like being anymore. I'm tired! Limbo has sucked the life out of me and I am drained of my ambition. It has however challenged me to look at my heart and decide what my expectations are, and what I need to feel confident in my decisions. There are a few things I have discovered.

1.) I have not lost the desire to experience the newborn phase that we missed with Avery.
2.) It takes me time to open my heart to a child and embrace them as my own.
3.) Russia is my heart. It's what I know and love.
4.) I can't save every child.

There is lots more I have learned, but those are the key things that are helping us navigate our decision. I can only speak for myself, since Ryan has his own challenges, but this is the core of what we keep coming back to.

The kids have been with us for 13 months. It's a long time and they have grown a LOT. They are resilient, bright, and adorable kids. Having had some time to adjust to the idea that they might need a permanent home has made me realize that even with all of that, how much I have never felt like they were mine. I guess I feel like the glorified babysitter. Yes, they call me mommy, they look for me when they have a boo boo. They have embraced us as their parents, but I... well, somehow, I have stayed guarded from that "love without abandon". It's understandable, I think, since we met their birthparents, encouraged them along the way to pull it together and make a life for them and their children. In my mind they have always been theirs and we were a temprary family. So how do you let go of that feeling? How can I change what I have done for the last year? I don't know.
This is what keeps bringing us back to our Russian experience. Did we know for sure right away, well, sadly I say no. We had been burned a bit already and we were guarded, but we knew she was worth the leap. The biggest difference for me was that we had time. Time to gush over her picture, to pray for her, to plan for her - and in that time, even before we met her, we fell head over heels in love with our girl . I knew from the moment the plane landed in Khabarovsk, that there was no way, I was saying "no". In fact I was already plotting ways to wait out our time between court in Russia. (I know, I know - not happening)

So likely, we will not be adopting our 3 foster kids. There are a number of reasons, but it boils down to feeling like there will be a family who is planning and hoping for THEM. One that won't have the baggage of their birthfamily, and the threats, and emotion of seeing their past firsthand. It breaks my heart, but I know in this moment, it's right. God would really have to move for our decision to change.

What's next for us? LOTS!
First, we are back in the game of trying to get pregnant. I know it is a long shot, since we aren't going high tech, but this is kinda our last shot, so we're taking it.
We will keep fostering. There are just too many kids that need a home and love, and we can do that. I think our expectation of adopting through the system has changed, although you never know.
And Russia... well we haven't given up on that either. I really want to adopt from Russia again, and maybe in a few years, we can. I know we can't now, there is too much on our plates, but someday, I hope and pray it will be in the cards.

I Love Fall

It is such a fun time of year. Today we took the kids to Parky's Farm. They had a blast playing and visiting the animals.

I have never seen 4 kids more excited over chickens. Here are a few pictures of Avery hamming it up.

The Rollercoaster Ride.

For those of you who aren't aware, this past week has been really emotional and trying.
On Thursday, the 30th, I went to the Dr. because I was certain that I had a serious medical condition. Things just weren't normal and I couldn't imagine what was wrong. the nurse as usual asked if there was any chance I might be pregnant, and I laughed at the ridiculousness of her question. She insisted they test anyway.
I was meeting with the NP, when the nurse came back in with a little plastic test in her hand. She showed it to me and I shrugged it off, assuming it was negative, like always. She had to explain a number of times that it was positive, and I continued to argue that she must be wrong. I had my exam and they confirmed that my uterus was normal for a 6-7 week pregnancy. I think I was literally in shock, I just cried, shook, and nodded at the foreign language they were speaking to me.
They drew my blood, gave me a prescription for prenatal vitamins, set up an OB appointment, and gave me directions to have a repeat blood draw on Saturday.

I was just in shock over the following days. I had my blood drawn on Saturday, but had to wait until Monday for the results. I called, and around 10 a.m. the nurse called me back. My hcg levels were dropping. The nurse explained what I already knew was bad news. They expected me to miscarry, but wanted me to come in the following day for an ultrasound. Monday was a jumble of emotions and hopelessness. but late in the day I decided to take a little control and see why this was happening again.

Tuesday I woke up early, and went to my old RE to have blood drawn, yet again, before I headed in for my ultrasound. They took Ryan and I back to the ultrasound room and the tech performed my ultrasound. It again was not good news. They didn't find anything. The doctor said it was just a matter of time before I would miscarry, and sent me on my way, with instructions to come back for another blood draw.

So now here I am, 5 days later and nothing. No signs of miscarriage, so I wait... Wait for this to all be over, wait for the next step, wait for closure. I will be going in on Tuesday to see where my levels are now.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
How this changes things...

Obviously, the unexpected news has given us pause. We have started to think about why this happened and what the purpose can be. Ryan and I both agree that we would like to take advantage of this time and try again to get pregnant.

The other thing to consider is the 3 kids. We care a lot about them, but we just aren't sure about the size of family that keeping them means. We don't feel certain about a decision at this point, and I am in no way in the right frame of mind to make a decision any time soon.

So that is where we are now, and the drama of our very emotional week.

Gotcha!

In honor of our 4th year as a family. Here's my shining star.

How One Phone Call Can Change Your Life

Let me take you back in time. Four years ago to be exact. Lots of turmoil in the world - hurricane Katrina damage was still fresh and hurricane Rita was approaching.
It had been 4 1/2 months since we met our little Innushka and I was on the verge of giving up hope that we'd be a family soon. We had gotten a referral for our sweet girl nearly a year earlier, Sept. 28, 2004 and my heart was set on getting a court date before we hit that 1 year mark.
Imagine my suprise when I got the call that court would be the 27th.
I had FOUR DAYS, to pack (ok, you all know me I was mostly packed already), get last minute baby items, gifts, and make arrangements for VISAs, flights, hotels, and transportation.
This was really it, the home stretch. We were finally here. I can't tell you how many times I had to remind myself to breathe over the next few days. It was a total whirlwind. Changing flights and re-routing us a million times in order to avoid the hurricane's path.
So the day finally came. We were ready! Only 31 hours until we'd land in Khabarovsk. We took off from Cincinnati and landed in NYC for a 6 hour layover. Then flew to Moscow and went straight to the airport, where we waited another 7 hours for our flight. In line for our flight we were standing by another couple who, due to the giveaway empty car seat we knew was adopting also. We introduced ourselves and thus began the Stevens/Carlino eternal bond. Nine + hours with a 6 foot female volleyball players knees in my back and my legs curled up on the wheel thingy on the plane and we were there.
We landed in Khabarovsk, got our bags and on the way to our apartments we found out that ANOTHER new law was going into effect and we needed to hurry to the hospital to have medicals completed for court the next morning. Ah, we dropped off our bags, changed clothes and headed out for an interesting afternoon of "medicals" - really they should just call it multiple breast exams (sorry guys, it's true). Then some food, off to see the babies - what a moment - that was just the best hug and she was not gonna let go for a second. Finally rest... I could not stay awake another minute, but we had to be down to meet with Anna for our pre-court prep at 8 then, back to sleep - who could sleep? We were going to be parents in a little more than 12 hours!
The morning of court. I was pretty calm, until we got in the van, then I had nerves head to toe. Again, reminding myself to breathe. The Carlino's went a 1/2 hour before us, and so we were going alone. We got to the courthouse and I was so excited. Then the elevator opened and I saw Kathy's face - uh oh, it didn't go well. Paperwork mess up and lots of stress to be had over the next few days. There go those nerves again, did they mess up our paperwork, will some family member come out of the woodwork. I took a deep breath and got on the elevator with assurances that everything would be fine. Twenty five minutes later...
It wasn't fine - it was AMAZING!!!!! I was a mom, Ryan was a dad -we were PARENTS!!!!!! After years of waiting and agony, our lives were forever changed.
I knew I wasn't supposed to cry in court, but come on. I was a blubbering mess when the judge read that decree. I tried did my best to ensure it at least wasn't my ugly cry, but not sure I managed that.
We left the courthouse high on life. Headed back to the apartment to change and pack a bag (just in case they let us bring her home then), went for some lunch to celebrate/commiserate each of our court hearings, and then off to the baby home to see OUR daughter.
She came in and we played a bit, then Eugene asked what we wanted to do - well take her home of course - so he went to ask. They said YES! We talked with her Dr., changed her clothes, hugged goodbye and walked out the door to our new life.
The next days and weeks were a blur of amazingness, stressfulness, sleeplessness, and bonding.
The Carlino's after a week of hell on earth had a great hearing on Friday and became parents to the Fabulous Miss T - Avery's BFF - and we had a great time hanging out in Khabarovsk, eating strange market food, and getting to know our girls.
We didn't make it home until October 17th and by then I was drained - the trip was emotional and horrible, but yet somehow happier than I had ever been.
Since that day, September 27th, 2005, my world has never been the same. My bad days aren't as bad. My happy days are far happier. I laugh and see the joy in the little things. All because of Avery. She's my light and my world. god sure knew what He was doing putting her in our lives, and I am so thankful He chose me to be her mommy.


And that's how my life changed with just 1 phone call.

Discouraged!

This is mainly a personal vent, so feel free to ignore...

I am discouraged, frustrated and confused. Our alone time last weekend, while wonderful and needed, didn't bring resolution to our decision about adopting the kidlets.
Not only was no decision made, but a slew of new questions and possibilities were brought to the table. It is all so overwhelming and there is no clear direction.
How do you reconcile your dreams with your reality? We took a leap of faith and started down MY dream path 2 years ago, only to have it blow up in our faces.
Since then we have been changing gears and spinning our wheels trying to get somewhere, not knowing if we really loved the destination.
I want my old road. I want Russia. I want the excitement of waiting for our referral, the overflowing emotion of hearing footsteps coming down a hall and seeing that face for the first time. I want to have the in country time to bond alone away from everyone else and become a family.

Maybe I am just being nostalgic, because we are coming up on our Gotcha Day. I don't know, but my heart is hopeful.

Ryan is hoping for another path, that I am not too sure about. It could be good, but I don't KNOW it like I KNOW Russia.

And all of this leaves us still uncertain about how 3 little kids asleep in their beds upstairs "fit".

So until we know, we'll just keep trying to find that missing piece to our puzzle.

Ahhh, Relaxation!

So Friday night was the 1st time Ryan and I spent a night away in nearly 4 years. Since we became parents on September 27, 2005, we have only gone away individually or as a family. It was long overdue and exactly what I needed.
We had a nice time doing absolutely nothing. Ok, so we did go to dinner and stopped at the new outlet mall on the way home, but other than that we camped out in our room, ordered room service and relaxed.
I can honestly say I didn't miss the kids. So maybe that means that next time we stay away longer. Absence makes the heart grow fonder, right?
We however were terribly missed, and greeted with hugs and kisses. The kids had a great time with Grandpa and Grandma, so all my fears of backlash were unwarranted.

"E-scape' - It's spelled like escape"

Escape, that is the game plan. I need to escape, just for a night, a day, a weekend...
Burnout has officially set in. It's that time of year where everything is in flux, schedules are off kilter and the kids are bananas. That doesn't make parenting 24/7 to 4 kids a walk in the park. The baby is teething, growing like a weed, climbing/jumping the furniture, and talking back to the best of his ability at 17 months.
Little Miss Hazel-pie (aka Hayley) is a whining mess. She has officially hit 2 developmentally and stomps her feet and cries over EVERYTHING. Oh and she talks back too.
Hanni-han, the stress queen, is not loving the unfamiliar schedule. So I am picking up after her meltdowns and acting out. Ever the battle for control with her, as in she must have it in all areas of her life - not too practical when you are just 4.
And last, but certainly not least the drama mama, Avery. Whew, she could earn an Academy Award for the shows she has been putting on. There just are not words. She is a total creature of habit. The lack of personal space and quiet is wearing on her, and it ain't pretty folks.

So, what is a mommy to do? Well, this one has carefully accounted for every detail and I am planning my escape. On september 11th, my partner in crime (aka. Ryan) will be blowing this joint, leaving our monsters, I mean darling children, to the loving care of others and are getting some much needed, WELL deserved, R&R.

I can't tell you how long I have waited for this. I am super excited. No kids food to cut, no tucking into bed, or waking up to find a paci under a crib, no timeouts, no whining allowed. Doesn't it sound like heaven. Adult food, peace, quiet, alone time... Yep, can't wait!

Court Happened, sorta

Last Monday there was a hearing. BUT, nothing happened.

First the kids parents failed to make contact with their attorney prior to arriving at the courthouse (real concerned aren't they).
They basically contested the counties request for permanent custody, and the court entered their plea. The next hearing, which should be in September, will be the pre-trial (they think). With the final hearing in October. Settling in for a long ride.

Onto more pleasant things. Shopping!!!!
Fall is approaching. The kids are getting ready for school, so mama gets to shop! I got some new shoes for my littles, the girls are all set with about everything. Avery still needs some jeans, but she is hard to buy for, so we're looking for some that actually fit. Shopping makes me happy!

Court Date

August 10th... that is the date of the Permanent Custody Hearing. I am living in a state of confusion and bewilderment.

We never expected to have our first placement turn into an adoption. We never thought we'd adopt 3 kids at one time. Now I am not saying we will, but I am just stunned at the possibility. Really I am struggling to wrap my mind around my current reality.

Since this is a private blog and I can just unload, I am going to, so bear with me.

The way I see it is this. We adore the kids, but they aren't all easy to parent. The baby is cake, just as easy going as they come, but the other 2, well - let's just say it is work. Work to not grow tired to teaching and reteaching the same thing over and over. To not get aggravated when that repetitive instruction doesn't bring on results. To apologize for others mistakes and know that you have to heal the wounds they inflicted. And a host of other things that are exhausting WORK.

Yes, I said I adore them, because I do. They are sweet and gentle and very much seeking love and affection. It is so exciting to watch them grow and learn new things. They fit very well in the family, and play great with Avery (when they aren't fighting over toys).

So you see part of our dilema. Weighing the exhaustion of raising 4 kids to the reward. Is there a comparision???

Now the other kicker... I WANT TO ADOPT ANOTHER BABY!!! Really, my heart is in Russia. Has been from the beginning, but we got derailed and I thought fostering was a good option until we could pursue that dream. And we would just see what happens. So that dream isn't dead. I may not get to adopt from Russia again, but somehow I do want another baby. Which leaves me with the question - can we handle FIVE? or what if we keep fostering, do we want SIX kids? will another child push us over the edge with the issues we have already.

Then there is Avery. If they left, it would shatter her world. She loves them they have been her siblings for nearly a year. I know she sometimes misses that one on one, but in reality, she has bonded to them.

Ugh! It's all so complicated. So very messy and emotional.

Sorry for the rant, I just needed to get it all out. Maybe now I can look at it objectively.

Since this was a gloomy post, how about a picture of my favorite redhead to brighten the mood. Here she is going wild at Bananas.

PC and LOTS of Prayer

Now over 9 months in to foster parenting and as you all know the kids are still here. Things are going pretty well and the girls are learning so much. J is a typical boy loving cars, trucks and dirt.

Things in the case are at a precarious spot. The county has filed for permanent custody. This means that unless a family member wants to take guardianship, we have the opportunity to be considered to adopt the kids. This isn't as cut and dry as you might think. We haven't made a decision yet. This is where the prayer comes in.
We'll see....

Vacation

We had a great time visiting with our friends in Connceticut early in June. We rented a house a block from the beach and it was a perfect week, even with the rain.

On the way into CT we stopped in NYC and went to a park that overlooked the Statue of Liberty and then we also spent one day in Boston (my favorite city).

Here are a few pictures of all the fun.

The All About Avery Post

So the birthday came and went and Avery now is miraculously a grown up, or at least she thinks so. She is getting to be such a sweet young lady (between drama, of course). This year has really changed her a lot.

Becoming foster parents has impacted her in both good and bad ways, mostly good, so that is what I'll focus on. She has always had a nurturing side, but not much chance to use it. Now she is just such a helper and can even change a diaper if the participant is cooperating. I promise we don't ask her to, but I have caught her trying to help on occasion and it is a funny sight. she shares much easier now and isn't quite as jealous if I need to attend to someone else. She has gained a lot of independance and confidence.

She has been doing gymnastics this year and it suits her to a T. She can do a great cartwheel, she is working on a back-handspring and loves the bars. At the beginning of the year we had to coax her into each class, now she doesn't even look for me. We're taking a little break for summer, but she'll start back in August. Right now she wants to swim every chance she can get.

Avery will be a kindergartener in the fall. I am homeschooling her because she isn't ready for a loud classroom. She loves school though, so I think we'll do great. She is already reading sight words, so the plan is to do more fun stuff like geography and science. And we'll just keep the math and phonics fresh in her head.

Vacation is Here!!! and a BIG girl now :(

That's right on Friday we are packing up and heading out of town. I am so excited to have 10 whole days without a single appointment. I get giddy just thinking about it. Exhaustion has caught up with me and this is sorely needed. We'll be hanging in Connecticut and getting to spend some time with our fablulous friends. We also get to head to Boston and possibly NYC. The kids are really pumped and got new beach towels that they are very proud of. Who knew towels were exciting. I know I'm not excited when I am washing them.
Now the dreaded birthday news. Yes, it is that time again. My sweet little baby, is going to be FIVE on Thursday. Although she reminded me that we have to celebrate Wednesday too, because "it's my birthday in Russia already then mom". I know she gets 2 days of birthday, but since we don't know the time of birth, it's the price we have to pay. So let Avery week begin! And what do you think my girl wanted for her birthday (aside from seeing her little bestie Miss T)... you ready... a wallet. Ooooohhhhh Ahhhhh, can you feel the excitement? So I went out and got a $5 wallet and she was happy as a clam. Gotta love that in an economic depression! We aim to please. She already got a scooter and new helmet, and I (big shock) got her some shoes that I just love. Avery just lights my life and I am so thankful God gave her to us. So a BIG Happy Birthday to my BIG 5 year old!

Now, kid news - things with our foster kids are still the same. Not much is progressing with their case, so we aren't really sure what is going to happen with them. We weren't expecting them to still be here. When we got the call we were told it would likely be a 3 month placement. Just goes to show you never really know with foster care. And now, we just don't know, so we aren't getting ahead of ourselves. The kids are doing pretty good, so that is what really matters.

7 months

Yes, that is how long the kids have been here.
Half of the baby's life has been spent in my home and we've been his parents longer than anyone else. It is SO hard to believe. Time has seriously flown by. I'm sure it is in part because we have appointments to occupy every waking moment. Oh well.
The kids have all changed so much they are barely recognizable. They have learned to play, laugh, tell jokes, chew food, be secure in new surroundings, walk, skip, jump, climb stairs, identify colors, count and a slew of other accomplishments among the 3 of them. I am really proud of them all.
And Avery has learned that she can survive sharing her toys and parents and even enjoy having other kids around. It isn't perfect and we all still have a long way to go, but while they are here we will keep plugging away and see how far we can go.

Summer is almost upon us and it looks like we will have some more free time to have a little fun. I am excited to think that we will get to do more outside the house.
We are trying to plan our vacations and it looks like we are going to be beaching it a few times this year. I must escape the 4 walls of Ohio that are quickly closing in on me.
Avery is over the moon about vacation, but what she wants to do this summer is fish... oh yeah! I informed her that mommy has some cousins who will be more than happy to show her those ropes, and of course daddy and grandpa are willing participants. I'll take pictures and laugh when she FREAKS OUT!

Update... not much new here

It's time for another update, but, as I sit here thinking about what to write about I am stumped. Life here has fallen into a normal routine. Things are still hectic, but that seems to be the new normal with 4 kids under toe.
We have made some changes around the house to make life a little easier for me and the kids. Ryan is happier to have the sea of toys out of eye shot. I am thrilled to be able to cook dinner and set the table or unload the dishwasher without stepping on tiny toes or pulling someone out of a drawer. The kids are enjoying their upstairs playroom. And Johnathon is sleeping SO much better in his own room. The renovations aren't complete, but life is easier and we got what we expected out of the changes. I think the new layout is even improving Johnathon's seperation anxiety.
Avery still struggles with the kids being here, but when you ask her what will happen if their parent's can't ever take care of them she says, "we'll keep them of course". We'll see... Ryan and I are still uncertain.
Saturday, Ryan and I will celebrate our 12th anniversary. Doesn't seem like it could possibly be that long ago. It will also be our first child free evening (aside from foster training) in more than a year, so I am excited about that. I get to go to dinner and not have to cut someone else's food!!! What a treat!

I guess that is really all the news around here. Aren't we an exciting bunch.

PS - for those of you following my "What do we do about Kindergarten?" saga. We've decided to homeschool Avery. I am nervous about it, but know it is the best option for her.

Non-Kid News

So this post is all about me. A rare treat I know. Cuz don't you all just wish you could learn more about my boring life? Don'tcha

Since returning from Russia with Avery, I have totally felt like a piece of my heart was still there. My heart just ached for the kids left behind and honestly I loved Khabarovsk. Over the past few years, I've contemplated what I would do about my passion for the need in Khabarovsk. And over the years the need has increased exponetially. Many agences have stopped travelling to the Far East because so few families are willing to make that long trip again and again. And as you know from our journey, it isn't an "easy" region. Also, Russia has stepped up their foster care program, good right.... not for the orphanages, their funding is decreased and they are still overcrowded. The need is HUGE!

This gets me to what I (and you) can do about it. Last year I was approached by 2 friends and fellow adoptive moms who share my passion. They were trying to start a non-profit to reach out to those orphans and orphanages, and they wanted me to be a part of it. It was an answer to prayer! So of course I said yes.

Now here we are a year later and our little dream is reality. We still have some loose ends to tie up with paperwork, but S.O.A.R. (Supporting Orphans Across Russia) is official. Trust me when I say you will hear a lot, LOT more about this in the future, but for now I just wanted to share my excitement with you all.
And yes, we will be heading to Russia in the summer of 2010 for the 3MomMission. So Missi and Julianne, if you are reading this, I'm brushing up on my Russian and practicing cobblestone streets in my FABULOUS shoes. Just try and keep up with me! ;)

I hope you will all be praying for us as we start this new venture, that we can be a light for these kids and really impact those who are still without forever families.

Big Boy, Turned 1 Today

Today I got to celebrate a 1st birthday for the first time. What a treat!

Johnathon is 1 today. It is really hard to believe that it has only been 5 months since he's been here since he has changed so much.

He is walking and talking. Such a big boy!

We celebrated with family this evening. I made pasta since it is the one food Johnathon devours. Then came the cake. Oh MY GOSH!!!!!! Well that, you just have to see for yourselves.

The First Encounter...

The Last Bite...

Filing an Extension

What does this mean??? Well, a lot and not much all at the same time.

In Ohio when a child has been in care 12 out of 22 months children's services can choose to file for permanent custody. "Our" kids will be in care for 12 months on March 3rd.
The agency really has 3 choices at this point.

1 - decide the parents have done what they need to do and it is safe to return the kids to their care

2 - file for permanent custody and then search for an adoptive home for the kids (foster parents get priority)

3 - say the parents are showing enough effort to let them keep trying.

We are getting option #3. The kids parents really are trying in a lot of ways, but there are still things that need to change. So unless something drastic happens we will continue on as things are now. They will be filing for the extension next week. I don't know the length of the extension. Typically they are 6 months.

This weekend we are taking the kids to the Great Wolf Lodge. I am hoping they are more comfortable in the water now than when we went to the CoCo Key in November. If not there are tons of other things to do.

Oh, and baby boy is officially a toddler. He has been walking good distances for a few days now. And he is quite proud of his accomplishment. He will clap for himself. What a cutie he is!

Guess that is all for now.

We Need Prayer

I can't really share what is going on, but things with the kids case aren't going well. The in home visits look like they will be stopping as of today.
I know this is what is best, but my heart breaks for them (the kids and parents). They all want to be together and they are trying, but just don't know how to do better. It is sad.

For a little Avery info - she is doing well. We are trying to decide what to do for kindergarten next year. Ryan and I have opposing views, so coming to a compromise is going to be hard. She is bright, so the educational aspect isn't an issue. There are just circumstances where she really struggles and school would be one of those arenas. It's hard to decide, do we homeschool, send her to a private school, try public school, or delay her a year. Only time (and probably a bunch of arguements -- I mean discussions -- will tell.)

Happy New Year!

So only a week late, but I want to wish you all a wonderful year.

I think I'll just share some Avery milestones of 2008, since it has been awhile since I bragged on my favorite little redhead.

Where to begin...

She knows her phone number.
Learned to pedal a bike, swim without swimmies, and do a cartwheel (ok that was New Years day).
She writes her name and can spell some small words (cat, dog, home, girl, red, a, in, the)
She learned to pump her legs so she can swing without a push.
She can read the clock.
She is a pro on the computer.
Loves to clean and help around the house.
She went to the beach for the first time and buried herself in the sand.
She started gymnastics and LOVES it and goes without crying for mommy.

Ok, I could go on forever, but I won't torture or bore you to tears. I am just so proud of how grown up she has become this year. She is quite the independant thing now. And yesterday she asked me "Mom, why are you so difficult?" when I didn't allow her to eat chocolate for breakfast. She made up for it though when I was reading to her before bed. The book was about being thankful and the last line asks what you are thankful for. Avery's response was "cuz I can love you so much mom". Yep, that's my girl! And 100% what I am thankful for too. So this year no resolutions that I will undoubtedly break, just being thankful every day that I get to love my kid to pieces and have here in my life.