Finding My Feet

I'm feeling a little bit like a fish out of water. I'm really missing having a baby in the house. We currently only have our Super Diva and the mystery boy from a couple weeks ago. Both of whom are fairly capable kids and don't need me for much. It is strange and I am struggling.
We saw Baby C just over a week ago. It was so good to just cuddle him and let him know we are still here and love him to pieces. It was also god to see him forming stronger bonds with his mom. Overall it gave me the opportunity to breathe and not be so constantly worried about him. Since seeing him, I've missed him more and more each day. I honestly don't know if I'd be strong enough to see him today. Maybe tomorrow, but today, my heart just feels broken.

Mystery boy will likely be leaving tomorrow. Although we've had another call and are technically waiting on another placement, we just aren't sure they are coming for reasons I can't really share. We've been on hold for almost 2 weeks and tomorrow when we fid out mystery boy's status we will be opening up for placements again. I am ready, but I feel the need to be a little more cautious about who I say yes too. To say it has been a challenge would be an understatement. Some personalities just don't mix and I find it hard to communicate with this little guy.

I'm pretty sure we will get a call quickly, but I am looking forward to the possibility of a few days with just me and my girl. Yeah the husband too... but he will be working, so you know what I mean.
But oh wait, it might just be a day, because we are doing respite for a friend. So yeah, my life is kinda crazy. But would I really change it? Nope, not on your life!