Counting the Days

In less than 2 months we will be heading to Disney! I can't wait. There is a possibility that I am more excited than Avery at this point. When we initially planned this vacation it seemed like the perfect time. Avery was old enough to ride the big rides. We wouldn't be emcumbered with a stroller or the gear that goes along with little ones. It felt like a relaxing trip was in store. Or at least as relaxing as Disney can be. Our reality is now far from the image I carried in my head. It looks like we will have 2 extra little guests joining us. J and C will likely still be with us and since we don't do respite for vacations, they will come too. I am making lists of things we need. Asking myself do we take the double stroller or 2 singles. Should I take pack-n-plays or rent a crib from the resort. Do I have something that will keep bottles cold at the parks. And the list goes on. My assumption is that if I prepare in advance it will be flawless. (I know I know... feed my delusion!) So to update on the boys... things are really good. Really busy, but good. J is walking now. It's lots of fun seeing him learn new things. C is growing like a weed! It seems like every time I turn around he is outgrowing clothes. We still don't know how things will turn out for either of them, but feel hopeful that both cases are headed in the right direction for each of them. Avery is going to be 7 soon. I am starting to think party plans. We leave for vacation just 5 days after her birthday, so we'll have a special celebration at our charachter breakfast. She will be very surprised. I think that we're going to invite a couple friends for mani-pedi's at the local kids salon. The other big news is that she learned to ride a 2 wheel bike. So proud!!!! I'm telling you I just welled up with tears.

Growing Pains

Yes, that's right we have another little one in the house. It brings the male/female ratio to 3 to 2 and we girls are out numbered for the first time.

Last week when I got the call it was after we had spent the weekend trying to decide if we wanted to fill our last space. We had left things on the fence. As it tends to go, when I waver God makes the decision for me and this was no exception. I didn't think twice before saying yes, and rushing to re-arrange the carseats and get on our way.

I knew he was a toddler and aside from some injuries a healthy guy. What I didn't know was he couldn't walk and weighs a ton. It made me do a double take to think of the logistics, but by that point he was attached at the hip and we were all in.
It is a very different situation than what we are used to, so there will be a learning curve with his case. But really isn't there with every case?

After 3 days I felt like we had a pretty good routine going. After over a week now, I feel like he is settling in.

Little Man has been so easy and patient with the changes. Avery has loved having someone who chases her around the house and laughs at everything she does. I am enjoying the occasional cuddles that I am granted.

We are once again finding a new normal.

New Discoveries

Over the last week and a half our lives have been transformed into a new form of normal. We got our new little guy which was a relatively easy adjustment, and then we had several days of houseguests. I was amazed at how smooth it all went.
To think back at how tightly wound I was when our 3 came. And to be honest, even when we brought Avery home. I spent a much longer period of time trying to just find a manageable routine and settle in. With this little one I can see how much I have grown and changed. I'm not fighting for control of every little thing. We are just living and enjoying the moment. Ah, could that be contentment? The unattainable rung that I never could seem to quite grasp. I think I get it now, finally. (um, I'm sure I will lose sight of it, but not for good ever again) Yes, I spent a few days trying to get organized and stay a step ahead, but I wasn't stressed. I knew it was all going to be ok.
The other thing that I noticed is how much stronger I am emotionally. Little Man is our first newborn-ish baby. I thought for sure I'd be a wreck trying to hold on to him and be maybe resentful of his parents. When we took our classes this time I felt more confident, but still I wasn't sure I could trust that. He had his first visit, and now his second visit and while I adore him to pieces I just know that I want his parent to get it together and get him back. I can see with certainty that where we fall short, the Lord fills the gap. He must be standing there for me now.
So for those of you who wonder "will he stay? will he go?" the answer is we don't know. He'll be here for at least a little while, but the plan is, the hope is that he will get the chance to go home and be loved by the mommy who brought him into this world. Until that happens we will just enjoy this comfortable new normal.