Not My Finest Hour

I find myself back in a stage that brings out the ugly in me. It's a place called waiting. This 4 letter world called wait is probably the hardest thing for me. Contrary to popular belief I am not a very patient person. I don't handle waiting with grace. Far from it actually.
We have completed our classes, I turned in all of our paperwork, and our medical evalations are scheduled for next week along with our CPR class. So here I sit, with idle hands that are desperately trying to find something to keep my mind off of that terrible state of being, the waiting. I guess I could shop for baby gates, but that is the last purchase that I may need. And it isn't much for occupying my brain.

The thing that is occupying my time is something that as of late I have equal concern regarding my ability to handle it with grace. That would be homeschooling. Avery is a perfectionist (I have no idea where she acquired this :0) and she is starting to get into some harder concepts, the downfall of this is that now, she HATES school work. She absolutely shuts down and refuses to try for fear of potential "failure". Over the past 2 weeks I have found that I wake up each day with dread. I know that the homeschool setting is what Avery needs right now, but I also think that my frustration and lack of ideas for beaking down this wall she has are doing a disservice to her. The last thing I want is for her to hate learning. I want to foster her creativity and instill a love for knowledge. Right now I feel like I am squashing her spirit and I need to reevaluate my method.

Homeschooling, Happenings, and Hope

I feel like my days are a whirlwind since school has started. We got off to a great start. I felt so organized and sure of myself this year. Avery was tackling her work like a champ. She just grasps things so quickly and effortlessly that teaching her seems like I am not doing anything. That is until we had to count by 2's. I don't know what it is - counting by 10's no problem, 5's a little more effort, but still got it day 1. These 2's, well it has become a stress for me. So much so that today I decided to put away the books and try something new. and wouldn't you know it, as soon as she was counting money that she could keep if counted correctly, she's got it! I feel like this was as much of a lesson for me as is was for her.
How many times as parents do we keep trying to get our children to do things our way at our pace, rather than us being the ones to take a step back and make the change in ourselves that will help our children succeed. Yes, I needed that lesson!

Aside from school and all that brings to our schedule we are trying to enjoy the fall and all the festivites that has to offer. Did I mention how much I love our new town? 'Cuz I do! We just have so much to keep us busy. Avery and I spent a beautiful day at the zoo getting some real one on one attention while we learned about the sharks and the mules. And had a nice time on our own following up to our Bible lessons where we are seeing the beauty of God's creatures and how their traits can be reflected in our lives. We've also had some fun field trips with our homeschool co-op. I am so thankful to have found a group that fits us to a T.

As for the hope... well we are back in the foster groove. No, we aren't licensed yet, but we are rolling along. We've completed 2 of the 3 classes that we have to do. We are working to schedule our CPR training and our medical evaluations will be done the first week of November. After that we will have our homestudy completed and then see who God brings into our home. This time around we are taking a very different approach. Rather than expecting to adopt, we are going into this with the intent to foster and if God brings us a child that fits our family and needs a permanent home, then that is great. If not, well then god has a different plan for us and that is fine too. I needed to let go of the reigns and trust that God's will is bigger and better than my own. We hope to have our license by Christmas, but we know that isn't in our hands either. be praying that things go smoothly and we can get done all the things that are our responsibility without setbacks.

I have set up a blog to follow our foster journey. If any of you are interested in that, let me know and I will get you the link. I am trying to keep it seperate and more discreet to protect ourselves and kids we may have in care.