Not My Finest Hour

I find myself back in a stage that brings out the ugly in me. It's a place called waiting. This 4 letter world called wait is probably the hardest thing for me. Contrary to popular belief I am not a very patient person. I don't handle waiting with grace. Far from it actually.
We have completed our classes, I turned in all of our paperwork, and our medical evalations are scheduled for next week along with our CPR class. So here I sit, with idle hands that are desperately trying to find something to keep my mind off of that terrible state of being, the waiting. I guess I could shop for baby gates, but that is the last purchase that I may need. And it isn't much for occupying my brain.

The thing that is occupying my time is something that as of late I have equal concern regarding my ability to handle it with grace. That would be homeschooling. Avery is a perfectionist (I have no idea where she acquired this :0) and she is starting to get into some harder concepts, the downfall of this is that now, she HATES school work. She absolutely shuts down and refuses to try for fear of potential "failure". Over the past 2 weeks I have found that I wake up each day with dread. I know that the homeschool setting is what Avery needs right now, but I also think that my frustration and lack of ideas for beaking down this wall she has are doing a disservice to her. The last thing I want is for her to hate learning. I want to foster her creativity and instill a love for knowledge. Right now I feel like I am squashing her spirit and I need to reevaluate my method.