"E-scape' - It's spelled like escape"

Escape, that is the game plan. I need to escape, just for a night, a day, a weekend...
Burnout has officially set in. It's that time of year where everything is in flux, schedules are off kilter and the kids are bananas. That doesn't make parenting 24/7 to 4 kids a walk in the park. The baby is teething, growing like a weed, climbing/jumping the furniture, and talking back to the best of his ability at 17 months.
Little Miss Hazel-pie (aka Hayley) is a whining mess. She has officially hit 2 developmentally and stomps her feet and cries over EVERYTHING. Oh and she talks back too.
Hanni-han, the stress queen, is not loving the unfamiliar schedule. So I am picking up after her meltdowns and acting out. Ever the battle for control with her, as in she must have it in all areas of her life - not too practical when you are just 4.
And last, but certainly not least the drama mama, Avery. Whew, she could earn an Academy Award for the shows she has been putting on. There just are not words. She is a total creature of habit. The lack of personal space and quiet is wearing on her, and it ain't pretty folks.

So, what is a mommy to do? Well, this one has carefully accounted for every detail and I am planning my escape. On september 11th, my partner in crime (aka. Ryan) will be blowing this joint, leaving our monsters, I mean darling children, to the loving care of others and are getting some much needed, WELL deserved, R&R.

I can't tell you how long I have waited for this. I am super excited. No kids food to cut, no tucking into bed, or waking up to find a paci under a crib, no timeouts, no whining allowed. Doesn't it sound like heaven. Adult food, peace, quiet, alone time... Yep, can't wait!

Court Happened, sorta

Last Monday there was a hearing. BUT, nothing happened.

First the kids parents failed to make contact with their attorney prior to arriving at the courthouse (real concerned aren't they).
They basically contested the counties request for permanent custody, and the court entered their plea. The next hearing, which should be in September, will be the pre-trial (they think). With the final hearing in October. Settling in for a long ride.

Onto more pleasant things. Shopping!!!!
Fall is approaching. The kids are getting ready for school, so mama gets to shop! I got some new shoes for my littles, the girls are all set with about everything. Avery still needs some jeans, but she is hard to buy for, so we're looking for some that actually fit. Shopping makes me happy!

Court Date

August 10th... that is the date of the Permanent Custody Hearing. I am living in a state of confusion and bewilderment.

We never expected to have our first placement turn into an adoption. We never thought we'd adopt 3 kids at one time. Now I am not saying we will, but I am just stunned at the possibility. Really I am struggling to wrap my mind around my current reality.

Since this is a private blog and I can just unload, I am going to, so bear with me.

The way I see it is this. We adore the kids, but they aren't all easy to parent. The baby is cake, just as easy going as they come, but the other 2, well - let's just say it is work. Work to not grow tired to teaching and reteaching the same thing over and over. To not get aggravated when that repetitive instruction doesn't bring on results. To apologize for others mistakes and know that you have to heal the wounds they inflicted. And a host of other things that are exhausting WORK.

Yes, I said I adore them, because I do. They are sweet and gentle and very much seeking love and affection. It is so exciting to watch them grow and learn new things. They fit very well in the family, and play great with Avery (when they aren't fighting over toys).

So you see part of our dilema. Weighing the exhaustion of raising 4 kids to the reward. Is there a comparision???

Now the other kicker... I WANT TO ADOPT ANOTHER BABY!!! Really, my heart is in Russia. Has been from the beginning, but we got derailed and I thought fostering was a good option until we could pursue that dream. And we would just see what happens. So that dream isn't dead. I may not get to adopt from Russia again, but somehow I do want another baby. Which leaves me with the question - can we handle FIVE? or what if we keep fostering, do we want SIX kids? will another child push us over the edge with the issues we have already.

Then there is Avery. If they left, it would shatter her world. She loves them they have been her siblings for nearly a year. I know she sometimes misses that one on one, but in reality, she has bonded to them.

Ugh! It's all so complicated. So very messy and emotional.

Sorry for the rant, I just needed to get it all out. Maybe now I can look at it objectively.

Since this was a gloomy post, how about a picture of my favorite redhead to brighten the mood. Here she is going wild at Bananas.