Content: Ten things that no one or only a few people know about..Send to: 7 Friends
This is my challenge from my dear Julz. And it has really taken a lot of thought on my part to decide what 10 things to share. I tend to be an open book, but then there are those things that you just don't share... So get ready it won't all be pretty folks.
1. I was a Brownie Troop drop-out. I quit after my very first night in 1st grade. My mom had encouraged me to go, since it was a new school, but minutes in I knew it was not for me. I had already become a bit of a social snob and did not want to be associated with those nerdy girls. gasp! My snobbish behavior continued well into high school. And yes, it still rears it's judgemental head on occasion.
2. I have a terrible temper. It has gotten so much better since we adopted, but Ryan was my punching bag through the infertility years. Luckily he looked past my hormonal state, but I feel really bad for the way I treated him when the lows hit.
3. My biological father is in prison and has been since I was 8 years old. I say biological, because to me that is really all the relationship we have. I haven't seen him since I was 10. He sent letters until I was 18. You'd think that would mean my childhood was a wreck, and in some ways it was (stepdad #1 was a jerk), but really it was perfection. My mom is amazing and my extended family is the one you read about in fairy tales. I seriously love them to my core.
4. I had my last name legally changed as a kid. See post #3 and realize when you are the kid with the infamous name, it isn't so easy changing schools and not having a scarlet letter on your chest.
5. I almost left my husband at the alter. It was a horrible day and nothing went right. I seriously started to freak that our whole lives would be that way. My best friend came in and said, ok, if you want to run, I'll get the car. I took a look down the aisle and said, "Nah, it'll be ok" but honestly the embarrassment was the biggest thing that kept me there. Don't worry Ryan won't be shocked to read this. I told him long ago.
6. I am the only 1 of my moms kids that wasn't a multiple. I have twin sisters a year younger than me, and my youngest sister was a twin, but my mom miscarried only 1 of them. I guess I was always meant to be the oddball.
7. I had an eating disorder in Jr/Sr High. It all started on a whim to get a few pounds off for summer, but I couldn't stop. I was only able to stop after needing medication when I couldn't stop throwing up without making myself. It wasn't good, and I still have to take meds from the damage I did to my body.
8. I will preface this admission by saying that I love my daughter more than life. She is THE reason I live, breathe, and smile. BUT... right after her adoption, I was terribly afraid we made a mistake and I had ruined my life. She was not an easy baby, well she was, but only if I was holding her, feeding her, attached to her by the skin. Literally she would have been happiest if she could have crawled right inside my body and hung out for a few months. She wouldn't let anyone touch her or look at her for weeks and didn't let Ryan alone in the room with her for months. She didn't sleep and I felt like she was sucking the life out of me. I dealt with a little post adoption depression. It was hard. But now, all that craziness, well I barely even flinch. She is my soul!!!!
9. I hate to start reading a book. I love reading, but starting a book, well I almost dread it. The reason is silly, but true. I know that if I pick up a book, I will not be able to put it down until it is done. Honestly, I have been up 48 hours just to finish a book, because it feels like torture to stop mid plot. Good thing I am a fast reader.
10. It would totally shock my family to learn that I am not a republican. I am not a democrat either. I hate labels and neither political party is one that I identify with. I choose to vote the issues and normally align with the independant choice, because I feel they are more free thinkers.
So there you have it. 10 things about me. Some of which I would probably deny to the grave it it weren't for the fact that they are in black and white now. I'd love to hear from Jen, Julie, Dori, Andrea, Rachael, Laurie, and Missi
5 comments:
Oh Jen,
Thank you. So much of your truths are a part of every adoptive family. We share so much.
Thank you for laying it out there. Now I have questions...
Did you ever think about adopting twins? I bet it crossed your mind!
the other questions are coming in an email!
I bet it feels great to release the hidden. It really did for me. My little adoption lie killed me forever, and I thought that AugustRose's bad behavior just after coming home was my punishment!
Now we need to get missi to share!
Shut up mind reader!! - you didn't know... Our first referral was for twins. We accepted them and then it fell through. We lost them on the day Avery was born. We were going for 2 in the beginning.
I still think about them all the time.
Well, here are my 10 and some of them are just, plain ugly!
1. I was thrown out of a Girl Scout troop as a leader when Layla was in the 3rd grade because I made "unsupportive" comments about selling cookies!
2. I have a secret stash of cd's in my car (Lady GaGa, Black-Eyed Peas, Pink, Michael Jackson, etc) that I listen to very loudly when I am alone in the car.
3. I haven't eaten meat in years. It really grosses me out. But I think there must be something to that Atkins diet- my very skinny daughter loves meat and I have always been overweight.
4. I hate touching animals. If I am not where I can immediately wash my hands with soap and hot water I will not pet a dog or a cat and places like petting zoos really stress me out. This is kind of weird because I grew up on a farm and we have a dog and 2 cats!
5. Matthew loves Legos. He has thousands of them (as in 10 plastic dishpans full). I have now become addicted to building with them and sometimes when everyone is asleep at night I watch a movie and build intricate Lego buildings. It is very therapeutic. This will probably make more sense after #10!!!
6. Apparently, I need to clean up my language. Matthew tasted my coffee one day and proclaimed, "For God' sake, who in the hell would drink this crap on purpose?" When I asked my daughter Sara where she thought he would have heard somthing like that, she looked at me sideways and said, "Mom, for real? You need to listen to youself." Yikes!
7. I am still so jealous when I hear that someone is pregnant or
adopting a newborn. I wanted a houseful of babies and I wanted them from the time they were brand new. I have to really fake being happy about other people's pregnancies.
8. When I was 36 I found out that my dad had had numerous affairs and I had a half sister and a half brother whom I had never met. I have since met my half sister and communicate with her via Facebook. She seems very, very sweet. I doubt she speeds, curses, or listens to hip-hop music loudly.
9. My very best friend in the world died 2 years ago. I didn't go back home to her funeral because I was embarrassed about how fat I was. I am so ashamed of myself for not going and being with her family. I have lost 60 pounds since then and I will not let my weight control my life again.
10. And ta-da the ugliest for last- I came home a few weeks ago and caught my husband of 25 years doing something that totally violated all my trust in him. I made him leave our home and I will soon file for divorce. No one in my family not my parents,sisters, or close friends (except my kids, of course) know this. So I am basically living a lie that I will have to eventually come clean about!
Laurie - #7 is totally me too. I do ok at holding it together now, but that twinge of "why not me" always comes to bite my butt.
This is going to be hard!!!
1) In fifth grade, I tried out as a cheerleader and did not make it. Yup, I felt like a failure which propelled me into not ever trying out for anything for fear of rejection.
2) I only dated 2 other guys before meeting my husband.
3) After losing my favorite uncle and my grandpa (who lived with us most of my 13 years) within a matter of two weeks, I was afraid of dying from 13 years of age until my senior year of high school.
4) I had a undiagnosed stomach issue and became very skinny after my freshman year of high school.
5) I had major insomnia my Junior year and didn't sleep for more than 3 hours a night.
6) One of my uncles have been in jail for a serious crime, plus I have numerous family in KY who deal with illegal activities.
7) When I was a child, I thought the world would end in 2000, so I thought I would die young at 24 years of age!
8) I met lots of guy friends online during my first year of college and actually met one of them in person.
9) I was painfully shy in high school and would NEVER tell any of the guys I had crushes on how I felt. (Blame it on the big school district.)
10)I highly considered joining the military but changed my mind before I filled out the paperwork.
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